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  • Jazmin Kylene

Five Steps Towards Better Self Care

When we hear the term “self care”, we usually relate it to face masks and bath bombs. And while I do love a good mud mask, this commercialized concept leaves out a very important factor— taking care of what’s inside.


In this digital age, it’s very easy to fall victim to insecurities. We’re constantly being bombarded with images of the ideal body, relationship, or home, not taking into account that everyone’s journey is subjective and personal to them.


What’s beautiful and perfect to someone may not necessarily be beautiful and perfect to you, and it doesn’t have to be! Self love is all about cherishing all that YOU have, and being happy for others that have what THEY have.


I say this all from experience because I myself have fought a long battle to accept my circumstances and see the beauty in them. And while I’m not nearly done, and don’t think I will be for a long time, there’s a few nuggets of wisdom that I’ve learned along the way. If someone had told me these things when I was beginning my journey of self care, I would have probably had a much less bumpy ride, so it’s only right that I help pay it forward :)


Stop comparing yourself to those around you! This also means don’t find validation in the failure of others!No one around you is superior or beneath you, we’re all simply on our own personal journeys and doing the best that we can for ourselves. You shouldn’t feel threatened or insecure when someone around you is doing seemingly “better”, nor should you feel validated when someone is doing seemingly “worse”. It’s ok to be proud of your accomplishments, and there’s no harm in healthy competition, but when you’re constantly comparing yourself to others are doing, you’re doing yourself a great disservice.


Forgive yourself when you fall off, but make sure to jump right back on No path to healing is ever linear! There are going to be days where you feel on top of the world and in perfect alignment with your highest self, and then there will be days where you don’t even feel like looking in the mirror. And that’s ok! A few bad days won’t undo all the progress you’ve made, trust me. There’s no need to beat yourself up for it, because you’re only human— the secret is to not linger in this state and see every morning as another chance to get it right. If you’re feeling off today, it’s ok, because tomorrow is a brand new day and you’ve got a whole new shot at feeling on top of the world again!


Turn to healthy vices when you feel down Many of us are guilty in turning to unhealthy vices when we’re feeling down and out about ourselves, whether its alcohol, or drugs, or even overeating. But numbing yourself with unhealthy vices will only cover up the problem for so long, and never addresses or helps to mend the root of the issue. Instead of dulling in order to not feel, there’s a lot of healing that comes with embracing these emotions and taking the time to understand them. Going on a walk down a nature trail, journaling, meditating, and getting lunch with a friend are all just a few examples of the healthy ways you can cope with not feeling your best. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a glass of wine and some pizza every now and then, just as long as you’re not using them to mask your emotions.


Don’t let your self love be conditional! You don’t have to have the house, or the job, or the boyfriend, or the perfect body to be happy! While we’re all working towards something, it’s important to appreciate the you that you are along the way. You already have everything that you need to feel fulfilled, everything else is just sprinkles on top of a really awesome sundae (You. YOU’RE the sundae.) If you ever find yourself saying “I’ll be happy when” or “I’ll love myself when” then you’re doing it all wrong! Sure, all those things that you want are cool, and there’s no harm in striving for them, but self love is all about loving the you that you are today, while actively working towards being a better you tomorrow.


Know that everyone is just kind of winging it At the end of the day, what you see broadcasted on on social media is only a small percentage of ones reality. We’re all comfortable showing off the pretty and the pure, but it hides the truth that we’re all also dealing with the ugly and the obscene. Nobody is fully secure of themselves 100% of the time, because they just wouldn’t be human! Even, dare I say it, Beyoncé has her off days. There’s no secret formula to this kind of stuff, so it’s important to know that you’re not the only one struggling to figure it out.


I hope that if you’ve read this list, you’ll do your best to implement these ideals into your daily routine. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth, because you’re worth it. You are beautiful and you are powerful and you are strong, and above all else, you are worthy and deserving of all the happiness and love that life has to offer. So congratulate yourself for being you and make sure you are always your own biggest fan.


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